Peony
by Chibi Botan
Summary: A different view to Botan's past life, and the circumstances that led to her being recruited as a ferry girl. Please read and review! It's complete but I plan to edit this sometime. I'll try to improve it.


Okay.. This one is a one-shot trial. It's a bit longer than I'm used to, but I'd hate to break it into chapters. I will rate it M, for it's _mildly_ _violent_, in my opinion, and hope everyone approves of the rating. I hope you will like it. Have fun reading, because I loved writing it. Please review..?

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**Peony**

by JJB Villanueva [~ChibiBotan]

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**I**

"It's a girl, Hana, your baby is a girl." The midwife had just finished wrapping the newborn in a white sheet, oblivious to the sudden silence in the room. She gave the child to the mother, who stared at the bundle adoringly. She was too tired to even speak, and her eyes were misty.

The Gods gave her a beautiful daughter. She touched the few blue strands of her baby's hair, and finally gave in to exhaustion. She was asleep in a few seconds, with a content smile on her lips.

When the midwife tried to show the newborn off to her father, he pushed the midwife in anger and told her to throw the baby away. The poor woman tried to keep holding the bundle, to shield her from being hurt, but the impact had already thrown her to the wall, and she bounced to the floor.

Being a _fragile_ newborn, everyone else in the room gasped, half-expecting the infant to die. Before the midwife had the sense to go near and check on her, the father went near, preparing to give her a final kick. _Women are weaklings. And weaklings does not deserve to live. _He did not need to voice that for everyone in the room to know what he's thinking.

The emperor's second-in-comand could only tear his eyes away from the scene. No one, not even him, being second-in-command, would dare defy the emperor. _He_ was the all-powerful emperor.

Just as the emperor's heavy foot was to land on the infant's back, something unexpected happened. The infant _glowed_, white light covering it, with a few bolts of yellow lights flickering around. It was only for a second. A wild power emanated from the baby, and, seemingly a defensive move, it _exploded_ and threw the emperor away, keeping him from delivering what could have been a fatal blow.

It was then that the second-in-command looked again, first at the emperor, who was shocked but seemed safe, and then to the newborn, which was still at the corner covered with the white sheet the midwife wrapped it in earlier. The glow that came from it was no more. It was as if nothing had happened, and the baby _breathed_, informing them it was alive.

_"A child will be born, your only successor, who will be the strongest warrior, who will take down all of its enemy, and will conquer vast lands. A warrior who is untouchable, and not any hand will lay upon to hurt it. Pain will not take it down, it will only make it stronger. Only the warrior can destroy itself."_

It was the second-in-command who had repeated those words, quote en quote, from a prophesy that was once told, a prophesy said to the emperor, who had expected a _son_ will be born to him. For a woman's place is beside her husband, and who would have thought the Gods would give such power to a _girl?_

"My lord, the prophesy.." the second-in-command quivered, "it never said you'll have a boy. This _girl_.. this girl is the warrior you have been waiting for." _How would the emperor accept this? _For a while, everyone was silent.

"A girl," the emperor finally said. He rose, walking towards the newborn. "How lucky can I be?"

Again, silence. The second-in-command wondered what that meant. Was the emperor actually.. happy?

"She is _my_ warrior. A girl will never think of taking my land from me...She will just.. _follow_."

The second-in-command sighed. He never thought that the emperor was a bit threatened when he expected a son... or an indestructible warrior for that matter. Now the poor girl will be controlled by his father. _But at least, she lives._

**II**

She walked towards the river. She kneeled, allowing her clothing to be touched by the gentle running water. Silently, she washed her hand, watching the water as it turns red because of the blood. Whenever her body hurls strong energy, her hands become wounded. She never doubted it's from the people she killed.

The war had just ended. They won. This land is now her father's. Her hands trembled, but it was not from cold. Her legs trembled too. Soon, her eyes were misty. She did not bother to wipe her tears. She just let them flow. Her knuckles white as her hands formed a tight fist, now resting on her knees. It took her long before she could stop crying. She washed her face and started to get up.

Then she heard whispers. She saw a boy, about five, and another about the same age as her, on the other side of the river. As she got up, she could see the older boy trembled. He recognized her. He instinctively hid his younger brother behind him.

"Don't fear..." her voice trailed off as she said it. Of course, they will fear her. It never mattered she was a girl. Who will forget that she had just wiped out all of the warriors in this village? _One of them might have been their relative. I might have just killed their father._

"Go away!" the elder boy shouted. "We didn't do anything against you!" He shouted with alll the hate he could gather. "The demons in hell are the ones protecting you!"

She bit back the tears that are about to flow. The truth always hurt. She could not even say _sorry_. She knew she didn't deserve the right to say those words. She turned her back, and started to leave. If the boys decide to hurt her, her body would react instantly.

_Deadly reaction_.

She wouldn't want that. Her power was never something she could control. It reacts on its own. As soon as someone raises even a finger in attempt to hurt her, furious energy boils inside her, and starts to explode. Anyone within the range would die. She never needed to call it, it just forms on its own. How or why, she will never know. In all those battles, as her troops wield swords, in the middle she just stood. Enemies already knew what will happen if they attack her, but they did anyway. None of them lived to see another day.

"Why don't you just kill yourself? Then this world will be at peace!" Those words followed her, _haunted her_, as she disappeared to the woods.

The words kept ringing on her head. No one can harm her. Her power will not allow anyone to even come near. She is doomed to be alone all her life. Well, serves her right. Her hands are _bloody_. How many people had she killed? She was the deadliest warrior this land has seen. At the age of fifteen.

Shinigami, that was her name. Cruel, but that's what everyone calls her. That is what she is to everyone. The most feared warrior named Shinigami, bringer of death. She was not... _human_. Nobody would ever _accept_ her.

From the start it was clear. Her father only kept her because of her ability. He only used her to be more powerful. Never did she disobey. How could she? He basically kept her mother a prisoner in her own room. Threatened to kill her if she did anything wrong. She had no doubt her father is capable of doing that.

_She _cannot be killed, but her mother could. That's why her father used her mother to make her follow. Her power can only protect herself, not others. The only other thing it could do was hurt.. no, _kill_.. people who tried to hurt her directly. She could never protect her mother. This power is a curse.

**III**

"Botan."

That sounded music to her ears. Botan. That's what her mother calls her.

She was told that when she was born, she wanted to name her Botan. It meant _Peony_, and her mother had always loved peonies. Back when she was stronger, she kept their garden full of peonies. But when she got pregnant, she became sickly. She had to give up gardening. The peonies had long withered, but her mother said she got the prettiest peony in return. She meant her daughter, of course.

If she had the energy to oppose her husband, she could have, Hana thought. But he would do what he wanted anyway, and named their daughter Shinigami. Such a cruel name, for a child so pretty. Hana cringed at the thought, but consoled herself by thinking that she could go on calling their child Botan when they're alone.

It hurt her so much what her husband made their daughter do. But she had no power to go against it all.

Botan would refuse to talk to her about it. She wanted to forget all of those, at least when it's just the two of them. Botan refused to cry. She wanted so much to console her, but Botan kept shrugging her off.

And she would smile her sweet smile for her. She knew, that smile was just for her. A mask her daughter made to protect her from what she really felt. She knew, both of them knew, that the end of _her_ life is near. She had been too sickly for so long. No one would admit it first. But they savored these moments, these moments they were alone, to be a _normal_ mother and child. This was the only thing she could leave her daughter when she dies.

Botan slowly walked towards her mother. Something... something was off.

Hana knew that with the look on her child's eyes. Suddenly, Botan came running to her, flinging her arms around her. Hana was surprised for only a second, and eventually she wrapped her arms around her daughter. Botan was crying so hard. For the first time, she shared her pain. It was time, that Hana can fulfill her role as a mother.

She wiped the tears that fell even on Botan's cheeks even as she was half-asleep. That night, she tucked her in, singing a lonesome lullaby.

**IV**

_Two weeks from that night._

_Mother... _

Only her mother cared for her. She's the only one she had. But now..

_Mother's gone.._

The news was given to her by her father. She came home from yet another battle. She had felt so drained, so depressed. And now... How can she go on? The only person she lived for was gone. The only reason she followed her father's orders. The only person who cared for her well-being.

She didn't even notice she was crying.

"_Shinigami_," her father's voice roared. "A warrior should never cry!"

Her head jerked back, dumbfounded. How could her father be so.. callous? "She's my mother. She's your wife!"

Her father laughed. "Are you serious? I only married her because she was heir to _this_ throne! She didn't know what to do with it, she only cared for those stupid shrubs!" _Peonies. He meant peonies._

She could feel herself boil with anger. She tried to summon her power, but she couldn't. She never could use her power that way. And her father was smart enough not to hurt her.. not directly anyway. She was _weak_.

Her father laughed more, knowing what's on her mind.

Botan ran. Her father let her pass. She went straight to her mother's room. On the bed, she found her lifeless body. Botan threw herself at the side of the bed and wept.

_What was there to live for?_

If only she could.. die... she could be with her mother. For the first time in her life, she knelt and prayed. But she didn't pray an ordinary prayer.

"Please, let me die," she sobbed, "take me away from this horrible place.. I have killed a lot of people, make me pay for all of my sins! If I deserve to be sent to hell, then send me there now! Give me now whatever punishment I deserve. There's no use.. no use to make me stay... They will only use me to feed their greed..."

She stopped for a while, almost choking on her sobs. "Please, please.. Just make it all end! I don't want to _help _them anymore!" She shivered, finding it hard to breathe. Everything seems crashing down... "All I ask of you.. is give me a short while, to be with my mother again..." This time, she spoke softly, not really believing the Gods would listen to her anyway.

Silence. That was all she heard. Everything seemed so silent. And then it came. From somewhere far, she heard a prophesy. A familiar prophesy. Only... just one line had been repeated.

_"Only the warrior can destroy itself... destroy itself..."_

Just as she heard it, the door flew open. Her father came in, with a dozen warriors, ordering her mother's body to be thrown away. On instinct, she tried to hinder them from coming near by blocking. Her father had not expected it, and, without thinking about it, pushed her forcefully to the wall.

It was as if time had stopped. We could _see_ a newborn baby being hurled to the wall. As the bundle hits the ground, we see its elder version, fifteen year old Botan. As she lay on the floor, her body glowed white, with a few bolts of yellow lights flickering around. A wild power emanated from her body, and, within a second, it _exploded_, throwing the emperor away, for the second time, only now it _is _a fatal blow... for both father and daughter.

**V**

She was floating.

She was floating above a beautiful garden. Peonies could be seen everywhere. Was it a dream? for all her mother's peonies had long withered. Now they're all in full-bloom.

"Hi there," a voice had said. It came from behind her. She looked back and saw a woman, wearing black kimono. She had black long hair tied in a bun behind her. She looked nice.

"Hi.." she meekly answered. She didn't know what to expect, but the woman was rather odd. She was, in fact, riding an _oar._ She held a small grey notebook on her hand, which she hid on the folds of her kimono.

"My name is Ayame. I'm here to bring you to the Reikai World.."

"Reikai?" Why would she bring her to that.. _Reikai_? It meant Spirit world.

She blinked._ I'm dead_. That would explain why she was floating. But.. she never thought it possible. All her life, she was treated as immortal. She looked down and saw the huge window to her mother's room open. She could now see her body, moved to the bed by the soldiers beside her mother's. A priest was there, too. Her father's body was nowhere to be seen. Not that she cared.

"Mom.." she whispered.

"She was brought to Reikai earlier," the kindly woman informed her. "To the gates of judgement. No need to worry, dear, because your mother is a good person." They both stopped to watch the priest pray over the two bodies.

"Need to stay a few more minutes?" she was asked.

She looked at her again. "I'm ready to leave." She said that without hesitation.

"That eager, huh?" She didn't have any answer to that. Soon, she saw herself beside Ayame, on her oar, speeding off to Reikai.. wherever that is.

**VI**

_Reikai_

She blinked really hard. "Did you mean... You're not sending me to Hell?"

The toddler, who was introduced to him as Koenma, prince of Reikai, nodded. It was hard to accept what he said as serious. Not only because it came from a toddler, but because in her life, she had been so.. _notorious_. Surely she deserved to be sent to Hell? She was quite sure she did. All her life people told her she would burn in hell.

"Yours was a special case. We know you never meant to hurt anyone. We've seen you, at the river, trying to keep away from those boys so you won't hurt them. Now, before you died, you said several important things."

"Well, I did say you can send me to Hell--"

"No, not that. You said we could give you whatever punishment you deserve."

She blinked, and paused for a while. "Yes, and that meant, going to Hell right?"

The toddler was unnerved by the repeated lines. "Will you drop that line right now?!" He shouted at her, his pacifier almost falling off. Then he calmed down and was once again serious. Botan was still trying to make all this new information sink in. During the_ ferry_ ride, Ayame had debriefed her about Reikai, what it would be, but it was still all so hard to believe.

"You said you're willing to do anything, just so we'll keep you off that place. Now, as you must know, you weren't supposed to die yet. That last blow was supposed to banish your father, but it wasn't supposed to kill you. You were meant to live for hundreds of years, not fifteen short years. But my father, _Enma_, had taken a pity on you, hearing your pleas, knowing what you're suffering... Now," he glared at her when she tried to interrupt, "We let you die. You must understand that you have no more of your power left because of that."

"Thank you, thank you!" She laughed and cried at the same time. She was overjoyed. "I never wanted it in the first place!"

"We know that. We just wanted you to know that you will never again have that strength and defense. You will just be like every other spirit in Reikai... But, since this is all sudden, there was not a place for you both in Heaven and Hell."

With that, Botan stopped crying, confused by it all. When Ayame told her earlier that her mother had already been judged, she was sure they will never meet again. She knew her mother will be sent to heaven. But at the same time, she expected to see herself being sent to hell. Now, what would happen to her if she doesn't have a place in both?

"Luckily.." He paused for effect, "Ayame had just been promoted to the research department and will start her job there very soon. That is really lucky for you, Botan, because that means we have vacancy for a ferry girl. Since you bargained to do whatever it takes to keep you away from your land, and knowing you never meant to hurt a soul, this will be your_ penance--_ if you want to put it that way. You will start training under Ayame tomorrow. Now, don't go thinking ferrying is an easy job. Take it seriously."

She bowed her head respectfully. "I will do my best, I promise!" She sighed, wishing this is not just a dream. She felt so welcome here. "What else can I do for you in exchange for all of this? I've never been so.. _blessed_." She must be in heaven. But in a way, she is. She smiled. Smiling had never been so easy before.

"Just do that often." They both knew he meant for her to smile. Botan could only give him a nod as a promise.

Koenma finally decided it's time to tell her. "And, Botan, there's something else. You have until tonight to spend with your visitor.. Her ferry girl will send her to heaven by dawn. Savor it, we don't do this favor often." He asked her to look at her back.

She did, and was overjoyed when she saw... her mother, walking towards her, looking so healthy and content.

Koenma sighed contently as mother and daughter warmly embraced.

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**-the end-**

Thank you for reading!

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**Author's Notes**

Wee! I'm finally done proof-reading. I know, I didn't give the emperor any name. It's rude to call him "Botan's father" all the time, but whatever, I _am_ stubborn.. I'm in no mood to _name_ him. I don't know why. Hmmn. What about the title? Uh, I hope you don't dislike it. I know the story's too dark for such a title. But I can only think of _Peony. _I'm not sure, but this story might not seem something for Yu Yu Hakusho. But I love thinking of Botan, wondering what her past might have been. Over the years, I thought of several stories for her, and this is one of them. It's the first one i really finished. I hope you can accept it as it is. :) Botan will always be my most favorite anime character.


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